Farewell to a Patriarch

Now that the hustle and bustle of the Christmas season is over, I have some time to reflect.
 
Christmas at our house seemed to have gone smoothly this year. The decorations went up quickly and almost all of the lights seemed to work, the children had their Christmas lists prepared and we got all the shopping done. Even Christmas morning went off without a hiccup – no one complained about anything they did or didn’t receive. On Christmas Day, dinner preparations were underway and it was almost dinnertime. I had silently said to myself that this had been one of the most peaceful Christmases in quite some time.
 
However, at 3:40 pm on Christmas Day, my world seemed to stop and the day became a blur.
 
As I was getting ready to get dinner out of the oven, my cell phone rang. The caller id said it was my mom (who lives in a different state than me) and I thought it strange that she was calling in the middle of the afternoon on Christmas Day. As I answered the phone and could hear her voice, I knew immediately that something was wrong. Nothing could prepare me for the shock I was about to receive.
 
My mom called to tell me that my grandfather had just passed away.  At first, I couldn’t make sense of what she was saying because nothing what she was saying seemed possible. The details were sketchy, but I was able to ascertain that my grandfather had been at my uncle’s house celebrating Christmas when he was alive one minute and gone the next. I frantically searched my house for my husband, blurted out what my mom had told me and then I just sat and sobbed.
My grandfather meant so much to me. He was the person I could always call and just talk to. In many ways, he played both the role of father and grandfather for me. 
 
What at once was a day to celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior, it now became a day to mourn the loss of a loved one. My grandfather had gone home to be with His Lord in Heaven.
 
We arrived in Boston on Saturday afternoon and I caught my breath as we approached the landing. Would Boston be the same without the welcoming hug of my grandfather?
 
We met up with family and each of us tiptoed around the inevitable…the sending off of our beloved patriarch.
 
Nothing could have prepared me for the visitation on Sunday afternoon. I knew how much my grandfather loved his God, his country, his family and his neighbors, but I never fully comprehended how much all of them loved him back until that service. New England is cold in December and this particular afternoon was not only cold, it was pouring down rain. For over two hours, people stood in line (some of them in the rain) to pay their respects and say goodbye to my grandfather. We heard story after story of a man that was loved, admired, respected and for sure was going to be missed. I saw children crying….children who viewed my grandfather as their own adopted grandfather. As much as all these people were there to console us, the family, I felt compelled to tell them how sorry I was for their loss as well and to remind them that my grandfather loved all of them dearly.
 
As the visitors tapered off, my husband and I were standing near my grandfather’s casket. A young woman and young man walked in. She was sobbing. We looked around at some of our family members and tried to figure out whom this young woman was, but no one knew. Finally, my husband asked them how they knew my grandfather. This is a story that touched my heart.
 
This young 25-year-old woman named Taylor had only known my grandfather for nine months or so, but that nine months changed her life. She worked as a bartender at a local restaurant and every Tuesday afternoon for nine months, my grandfather visited this young woman, had supper, brought her a joke and just talked to her about everything. He poured his life into this girl just like he had to me so many times. As I listened to her, I pictured Jesus sitting at the well with the Samaritan woman. My grandfather was gentle like Jesus. Even in my rebellious years, he never judged me, never said an unkind word and always just loved me through it all.
 
My grandfather once said to me during a visit, “You are a better mother than I ever imagined you would be.” That word of encouragement has gotten me through many days as a mom. I’ll miss his gentleness for sure.
 
The funeral and the burial are always difficult because of the finality of it all. Up until the morning of the funeral, I couldn’t bring myself to say goodbye. I knew it was going to be difficult and I could only do it once. As the minutes became less and less before they would close the casket, I knew the time had come. My heart broke and I once again sobbed. The service was beautiful and exactly how he would have wanted it.
 
At the cemetery, he was buried with full military honors…something that was dear to his heart. The day was bitter cold, but the sky was clear and the sun was shining. My grandfather disliked the wind and the leaves…especially those of his neighbors that blew into his yard. So I found myself smiling while listening to the Marine Corps bugler as a slight gust of wind blew over his gravesite and a single leaf blew over the top of the flag-draped coffin. I’ll cherish that gentle whisper from Heaven forever. 
 
We made arrangements with my aunt and uncle to visit my grandfather’s house the next day. As we entered his beloved “Poet’s Circle” neighborhood, his friend’s flagpole flew the American flag and Marine Corps flag at half-mast. His friend, Ed, had done this everyday since my grandfather had passed. This was also the same man that stayed the entire four hours of the visitation and attended the funeral and burial. Ed claimed it was his small way to repay what my grandfather had done for him. Ed had recently gone through a bout of cancer with many daily treatments of radiation. My grandfather had driven him into Boston everyday for his treatments without ever asking for anything in return. That was the kind of loyal, dedicated and humble friend my grandfather was.
We spent some time at my grandfather’s house just going through every room. I tried to take a snapshot of it all in my mind. This had been the only home I ever knew of my grandparents because they had lived there since 1969 and for a slight period of time, my family had lived there with them as well. As I walked from room to room, I realized that my grandfather had every intention of returning home Christmas evening…everything was in it’s place. James 4:14 came to mind, “Yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.” That verse had never been more alive for me than in that moment.
We had many great moments and memories with family during our visit to Boston and it wasn’t until we returned home to Dallas that the reality of all that had happened set in. Strangely, while in Boston, I felt a closeness to my grandfather because of all that was familiar. But now that I am home, I am reminded that I will never again hear his voice, endure (yes, if you knew him you know exactly what I am talking about) his sense of humor or listen to his endearing message he left every time he called, “Hello, this is your children’s handsome great-grandfather calling.”
 
The Holy Spirit has gently reminded me that my citizenship is in Heaven (Philippians 3:20). I know that someday we will be reunited and I know that my grandfather will be there among many waiting to welcome me home. For that, I am very thankful.











This photo was taken of my grandfather on Christmas Eve...the night before his going home.


William C. Helliesen - January 8, 1926 - December 25, 2013

9 Comments


Yvette - January 5th, 2014 at 2:30pm

Beautiful Erin.

Chris - January 5th, 2014 at 4:49pm

Nicely written sis

Zora - January 5th, 2014 at 8:38pm

Erin this is beautiful. I am sorry fornyour loss, but what a legacy you have.

JenittaEskew - January 5th, 2014 at 9:55pm

So sorry for your loss, I know that heaven is rejoicing with him there. What an amazing life and impact he had on so many.

Geoff Langos - January 5th, 2014 at 10:14pm

He was an awesome inspiration - I always loved seeing him when I was growing up. He was always smiling, cracking jokes, and just fun to be around - he defined being a "happy man!" My daughters had the opportunity to meet "Uncle Billy" and I am so glad they did. The first time, we were living in Boston (temporarily) and he invited us out to lunch and then over to his house to see his trains. Recently when his sister, Florence, passed away, we all saw him again. As soon as he got to the hotel (for her funeral) and realized their was an indoor pool, we went over to the mall to buy a bathing suit and jumped in with all of them! That's just how he was. He lived in the moment and made everyone laugh. We should all inspire to live life with a smile, impart genuine kindness, and be friendly to everyone. This is how I will remember him.

Linda Helliesen - January 8th, 2014 at 2:43pm

Erin, thank you so much for sharing your well-written, heart felt article. Your grandfather, my uncle was a wonderful and loving human being. The 4 Helliesen brothers always had a twinkle in their eye, a story to tell and and a joke to share! They were all like that! I wonder what their father was like and if he was as happy go lucky as the others. (My research shows that Grandfather Haakon / Harry Helliesen could be very difficult and I think out of the 4 brothers, my father probably followed closer to that path, most of which was caused by a drinking problem.) While isolated from my father's brothers and sisters, I held and hold a great respect for these young women and men who were children of a immigrant father - whose grandfather went missing around the time their father came over from Norway. Each one of the "boys" went into the service of our country with pride, enthusiasm and patriotic honor. Each of the boys were dedicated to their families. I met and spent time with your grandfather when my Uncle Harold passed away. We spent hours talking and I learned a lot about his life before and after his mother passed. You honestly glean insights into someone after a loved one has passed. After my father passed, your grandfather and I spoke several times and your grandfather helped me, and contributed to information, when I was doing the research on the Helliesen story / memories. He, and my remaining aunts and uncle filled me in on so much information and stories ... much which could never be used for various reasons - but all stories fun to hear about. I am sincerely happy that I had the opportunity to meet your grandfather - no, I really didn't know him - but my father was always fond of his youngest brother. RIP and God Rest your soul Uncle Bill ... a true inspiration to many!

Bill Bergeron - January 15th, 2014 at 9:04am

You have a wonderful gift Erin, thank you for sharing this.

Elsie - July 6th, 2014 at 11:16pm

Beautiful, inspiring story.

Recent

Archive

Categories

Tags

Abortion Alcohol Ashkenazi Beer Blogger Blog Christian blogger Daniel Loeb Drinking Gay Marriage Holocaust Intoxicated Church Intoxicate Margaret Sanger New Year Paul Singer Private Sin Public Sin Sandalfeet Ministries Sandalfeet Spirits Tim Gill Wine #Emerge #LiveUnashamed #TurnOffTheDark 'Tis the Season 1 Corinthians 13 1 Peter 3:18 1 Timothy 1:12-16 180 the documentary 1973 1and3 2 Chronicles 7:14 2 Corinthians 2:5-11 2015 2016 Vote 2016 2019 2020 2023 2024 40th Birthday 62nd National Day of Prayer 63rd National Day of Prayer 8 A Few Thoughts About the Starbucks Red Cup A Generation in Crisis A Savior is Born A Shining Star Aaron Abbott and Costello Abraham Acts 16:31 Adultery Advent Calendars Advent Devotional Advent Wreath Advent Against the Grain Agape Alabaster Jar Alaska Airlines Albaster Jar Albie Pearson Alcohol All I Ever Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten Amanda Guyger Amber Gugyer American Church Ami Chapman Anglican Church Annie the Movie Are You Hurting Your "Friends"? Are You Hurting Your "Friends"? Are You Soaking Ascension Ash Wednesday Ashkenazi Ashley Madison Asma Al-Assad Assemble Aurora Auror Austin & Ally Austin Autumn Awaken Band-Aids Baptism of the Holy Spirit Barak Bashar Al-Assad Bathsheba Be a Voice for the Voiceless Beautiful Gate Beer Being Fed Beirut Attacks Bethel Music Bethseda Better Days Are Ahead Bible Fellowship Bible Museum Bible Study Bible Billy Graham Bishop TD Jakes Bitter Cup Blogger Boaz Bobbie Houston Boko Haram Born In A Manger Boston Marathon Botham Jean Brandt Jean Brian barcelona Bride BringBackOurGirls Brittany Maynard Broken People Broken things Burdens Busyness C.H. Spurgeon Caleb Castille Calling Canada Cancel culture Casting Crowns Catherine Mullins Change Charles H. Spurgeon Charles Spurgeon quotes Charles Spurgeon Charleston Church Shooting Charleston Chasing the Dragon Chick-fil-A Chicken Child Choose What is Better Christ-follower Christian Radio Christian blogger Christian blog Christian podcast Christianity Christian Christine Caine Christmas All Year Long Christmas Christy Nockels Church Climb a Tree Coffee Bar Colossians 3:13 Comfort Zone Comfortable Community Confirmation Contentment Content Cool Christianity Coop Coronavirus Corrie ten Boom Country Club Covid-19 Covid19 Craving God Ministries Creation Creator Cross Crown of Thorns D.C. DIY DOMA Dads and Daughters Dads Daily Devotional for Lent Daily Devotional Dallas Damascus Dandelions Daniel Loeb Darkness Darlene Zscheh Daughters Of the Deep Daughters Days of Elijah Deborah Defiance Deliverance Democrat Demon Possessed Man Dennis Bratcher Desensitization Deuteronomy Devotional for Lent Devotional Disorder Dominican Republic Don't Act Like a Chicken Don't Give Up Don\'t Give Up Don\\\'t Give Up Don\\\\\\\'t Give Up Donald Trump Doubt Dr. Tony Evans Drag Queen Reading Hour Drag Queen Drinking Dry Bones Dylann Roof ED Commercials Earthquake Easter Eight Practical Tips Election 2016 Election Elephant in the Room Elohim Emanuel A.M.E. Church Emanuel AME Emerge: It's Time To Turn Off The Dark Emerge: It's Time To Turn Off The Dark Emerge: It's Time to Turn Off the Darkness Emerge Emerging: Out of the Shadows of Voluntary Darkness Emerging Emily Lett Empty Tomb Encounters Entertainment Ephesians 1:3 Ephesians 2:8-9 Ephesians 2:8 Ephesians 6:12 Epiphany Erin Olson Erin Olson Dallas Erin Olson Sandalfeet Erin Olson Erin and Scott Olson Erin Esau Esperanza International Esther Evangelism Explosion Evangelism Evil Exodus 1:17 Ezekiel FORGIVEN If we are forgiven why can’t we forgive? How you can know if you are living in unforgive Facebook Live Facebook Faith Fall Family Relationships Family Fasting Father's Day Father's Day Festival of Unleavened Bread Fetter Firing Squad First Fruits First Great Awakening For Your Glory and For Me Forever 21 Forever Forgiveness - Unforgiveness : Revealed Through Your Fruits Forgiveness - Unforgiveness: Revealed Through Your Fruits Forgiveness Bible Study Forgivenes Forgivness Four Friends Friendship Friends Fruits of the Spirit Fruits Fruit Galatians 5:22-23 Garden of Gethsemane Gather Your Neighbors Gather Gay Marriage Gendercide General Revelation Genesis 3:15 Gentleness George Zimmerman Gerasenes Get Out of the Tree GetOurGirlsBack Gideon Gifts Give Credit To Whom Credit Is Due Give Gluten-Free God With Us God is Love God is With Us God is good God's Not Dead God's Will God's Word God's Not Dead God Golden Chord Good Friday Goodness Grace Greg Laurie Growth HIS Bridge Builders Habbakuk Haitian Earthquake Haiti Happy New Year Harvest America 2016 Harvest America Harvest What Does it Mean? Harvest Hate He is Risen Healing Healthy Habits Heart Heaven Kissed the Earth Hebrews 10:14 Hebrews 10:24-25 Hebrews 12:1 Helper Heroes of the faith Hillary Clinton Hillsong United Hipster Christianity His Redeemer Lives His Revelation Holocaust Holy Spirit Holy Week Holy Homeschool Home Hope Defined Hosanna in the Highest House of Prayer Human trafficking Hurricane I Can Only Imagine I Can ISIS Immanuel Impatience In N Out Instagram Intercession Intercessory prayer Intoxicated Church Intoxicate Is It Our Garden Moment Isaac Isaiah 7:14 Isaiah 9:6 Isaiah Israel It Takes A Village It'S Time To Turn Off The Dark It'S Time To Turn Off The Dark Jack Graham Jackie Pullinger Jacob Jael James MacDonald Jehovah-Jireh Jen Hatmaker Jeremiah 29:11 Jeremiah Jerry-Maguire Jessie Jesus Movement Jesus Revolution Jesus clubs Jesus is the Reason Jesus is the reason for the season Jesus' miracles Jesus' will Jesus Jim Cymbala Jimmy Valvano quote Jimmy Valvano Job 23:10 Job Joel Osteen John 10:10 John 14:6 John 15:1 John 3:16 John 8:12 John Hagee Join With The Angels Jonah Joy To The World Joy Judge Deborah Just Ask Erin Karen Wheaton Kari Jobe Kickstarter Kids Ramp Kindness King David King Herod King Hezekiah Kingdom Community Kingdom Winds Kirk-Cameron Lakewood Church Laodiceans Laodicea Las Vegas Leadership Legacy Lent Daily Devotional Lent Devotional Lenten Devotional Lenten Season Lent Let it Be Jesus Life Light In the Dark Light of the World Light Lioness Arising Lisa Bevere Listen to Him Liv and Maddie Live Unashamed Living Under an Open Heaven Lord's Prayer Lord's Supper Lot's wife Lot's wife Love Luke 10:42 Luke 11 Luke 2:46 Luke 2:7 Majestic Inspirations Majesty Malachi 1:2 Manchester Mandisa Manna Marathon Margaret Sanger Marilyn Monroe Mary Anoints Jesus Mary Magdalene Mary and Martha Matthew 12:21 Matthew 20 Matthew 21 Matthew 28:19 Matthew 5:9 Matthew 7:24-27 Mat May 7th May 7 Middle-class Mike Fechner Miracles From Heaven Miracles Missions Moms Mom Mordecai Moses Mother's Day Mother's Day Motherhood Motrin Movies Museum of the Bible Museum Music Muslim My Hope America with Billy Graham My Hope America NYC Names of God Narrow Gate Narrow Path National Day of Prayer National Prayer Walk Your Neighborhood National Prayer Walk Nehemiah Neighborhood New Beginnings New Blog New Year New York City NewSpring Worship Niagara Falls Nigerian Schoolgirls Nigeria No Longer Slaves Notes Obedience Oceans Of Mess and Moxie Office Shooting Olive Branch Olive Oil Olson On the Day of the Solar Eclipse One Thing is Necessary One Word One Year Later Open Heaven Operation Christmas Child Oregon's Death With Dignity Act Oregon's Death With Dignity Act Overcome Palm Sunday Parables Parents Pareto Principle Paris Attacks Paris Passion Passover Pastors Patience Paul Singer Peace On Earth Pecking Order Pentecost Perfect Timing Persection Peter Pick up Your Cross Planned Parenthood Podcaster Podcasts Podcast Pool of Bethesda PowerPoint Praise you in the Storm Praise Prayer Closet Prayer Room Prayer Works Pray Preparing for the Harvest Presence of God President Obama Presidential Race President Prestonwood Baptist Church Prestonwood Devotionals Prestonwood Easter Prestonwood Pregnancy Center Prestonwood Women's Ministry Prestonwood Priceless Priscilla Shirer Pro-gay Prodigal Son Progressive Christianity Progressive Promised Land Prophetic Word Proverbs 10:12 Proverbs 22:6 Proverbs 31 Psalm 118:1 Psalm 121 Psalm 31:19 Queen Esther Race Racism Rahab Raised to Life Rashness Rebuild America Red Cup Refrain Reinhard Bonnke Repent Republican Repurpose Reset 2016 Revealing Darkness Revelation 4:8 Revelation Rick Santorum Robert Fulghum Robin Hill Lane Robin Williams Roe v. Wade Romans 4:7-8 Romans 8:28 Ronnie W. Floyd Rooster Ruth SCOTUSA SYATP 2015 SYATP Sabbatical Year Sabbatical Samaritan's Purse Samaritan's Purse Same-Sex Marriage San Bernardino Sandafeet Sandalfeet Blog Sandalfeet Ministries Sandalfeet Minsitries Sandalfeet Santa Claus Santa Satan Say His name Scarlet cord Scott Olson Dallas Scott Olson Scott and Erin Olson Season Second Coming of Christ Second Great Awakening Second Kings See You At The Pole Self-control Senior Adults Senior Church Goers September 11 Serve Sex trafficking Sexual Abuse Shame Share the Message Shifting the Entertainment Atmosphere Sifting Silence Silent Night Simeon Simon Simplify the Season Sisera Sit At His Feet: Choose What is Better Sit At His Feet: Choosing What is Better Sit At His Feet Soak Social Media Sodom Solar Eclipse Solemn Solomon Sound The Trumpets Special Revelation Spenser Olson Spirit Rising Spirits Spiritual Atmosphere Spiritual Checkup Spiritual Food Spiritual Needs Spiritual Orphans the Book Spiritual Orphans: A Generation in Crisis Spiritual Orphans Spiritual Warning Signals Sprint Stand United Star of Hope Starbucks Start Serving Stop Complaining Stay Gold Stepping Out of the Boat Stormie Omartian Storms Storytellers Stress Strongholds Such a Time As This Supreme Court ruling Surrender Swim Upstream Syrian Conflict Syria TD Jakes Temple Construction Temple Temptation Tenacity Testimony Thankfulness Thankful Thankgiving Thanksgiving The American Humanist Association The Depot Podcast The Gathering The Great Commission The Katinas The King is Among Us The Mission of Motherhood The Ramp The Sisterhood The Tabernacle The Waiting Place The Weeping Prophet Theophany Third Child This I Beiieve Thomas S. Kidd Three Wise Men Tim Gill Time with God Timing Tony Evans Trafficking Transfiguration Trayvon Martin Triumphal Entry Twelve Days of Christmas Unashamed Unbelief Unforgiveness United 2015 Upstream Uzzah VBS 2012 VBS Vacation Bible School Valentine's Day Valentine's Day Vessel Vicky Valle Victor's Crown Virginia Grounds Virtual Academy Voice Institute Voluntary Darkness War Room Washington We Are Called to Forgive Weekend Project Weeping Prophet Whale What If What's in a Name Wheat and Weeds Who's on First? Who's on First? Wide Gate Wide Path Will You Stay Silent? Wine Wise Men Woman at the Well Woman-at-the-well Woodlawn Word for the Year Word of God Word of Life Words Works Worry Creates Pause Worship Music Worship Writing in the Sand Wubble Bubble Ball Wubble Bubble Yahweh Yes You Can You Are Not the Boss of You Your Love For Us Youth Zacchaeus Zechariah 9 Zechariah 'Tis the Season abortion adoption america anger authenticity author baby names blessing blog blood moons category 5 hurricane child abuse child trafficking children christians conversation crystal buck culture issues culture war culture densensitization depression divorce don't scroll don\'t scroll don\\\'t scroll east everlasting faithandforgive.com faithandforgive.org faithandforgiveness.org family family vision statement family mission statement stay-at-home mome flu epidemic flu vaccine flu forgivegod.org forgiveness forgive four blood moons fruit of the Spirit garth brooks god's approval governor abbott hand of God hand-of-god heart condition heroines hope housewarming shower hurricane harvey kinsman Redeemer legalism lost lukewarm marriage media ministry mobile sonograms mustard seed myhopeamerica.org nasa nineveh orphans orphan pandemic parable of the mustard seed parenting peace persecution posture prayer prestonwood baptist choir pro-choice pro-life prodigals prophecy pythonic-spirits python radical obedience radical reconciliation revival sadness sharethemessage.org spiritual health spiritual maturity spiritual-warfare steps of salvation stomach virus students thanks the Bible the Seed the depot podcast with erin olson the gift of conversation theatre shooting this blood time in His presence tragedy trials trust truth unanswered prayers unplanned pregnancy waiting watch why is it so hard to be a christian today? widow's oil workplace ministry